So I have a limited window of time before I have to start cramming for my second and final midterm that's tomorrow, God sent me a scripture regarding this situation : A lazy person's way is blocked with briers, but the path of the upright is an open highway (Proverbs 15:19). Can we say ouch? I did repent and I am thankful for God's mercy and grace but He wasn't going to let this slide easily. Trust me after this week, with two midterms and two assignments due I never want to be stuck in this predicament again- unprepared that is. I even wanted to post a video regarding Valentine's Day and I have it done. I just need to edit it but I don't think I will have time to edit it until after Friday.
Anyways, at work I know this co-worker who is anti-theist. No she does not negate the fact that there's a God, just not the Abrahamic God that I love and know. She is very vehement in her beliefs, but through these months I was able to see that there's more beneath the exterior of anger.
So her daughter was rejected her work permit again and is considered non-existent in this country. Her daughter is potentially suicidal. And lonely. I've been praying if I can do something like hang out with her or something. She is finding it hard to make ends meet and she was quite overwhelmed at work today, so I kinda just asked " Have you ever tried praying, I know you're not religious and all..."
"It doesn't work, trust me Habiba I've been religious for 50 years and it's all hogwash (another word was stated but I will just censor)."
"Why would God let all this suffering happen."
"We live in a fallen world."
"Are you serious Habiba, do you really believe that?" (When she asks this question I can feel the judgement in her eyes as if it were saying Habiba how can you be so smart and yet so stupid LOL)
"Yes, faith is not logical."
So she goes on her typical religious rant on why she hates religion and stuff. She says I haven't read my bible blah blah blah. I know I haven't read it through and through (like from the beginning and end) and she tries to state that I am a 'selective' Christian because I've read certain passages. She has though. I try to explain to her that the difference between me and her is that the Holy Spirit gives revelation. Some time passes.
Then we talk about her bi-polar mom. This was after she asks about my upbringing in which I tell her I live with my uncle and aunt. But any whose, her bi-polar mom seen her dad's corpse chopped up in pieces post world war 2. She doesn't know if it was Germans or whatever, but needless to say her mom was never the same. At this point, I asked whether her mom died of natural causes. She did not, she had a severe manic episode and lets just say she worn her heart out. My co-worker regrets not being at her mom's deathbed, she was 30 minutes late. At this point, my coworker starts tearing up and I feel awkward trying to comfort her (like um you don't have to feel guilty, gosh I'm not Dr.Phil). My coworker hasn't had the greatest life either and perhaps she feels like a failure since her daughter who she intended to have a better than herself feels stuck . Perhaps there's some generational curse going on I really don't know but I do believe with prayer that God can reveal Himself to her.