I'm a bit taken aback. Right now as I'm typing this I'm kind of shaking. And of course I would be as I was just involved in a major accident. For Pete's sake all I wanted to do was be a diligent teen and get some laundry done. I guess God had something else in mind. Prior to the accident, I went to the doctor's for a follow-up appointment. Everything was fine. I just wanted to go home and get my laundry and actually do it at the laundro-mat. Driving seemed to be okay, but I did notice that there was some difficulty braking. This was because there was snow. My uncle did tell me that in snowy conditions I may have to pump my brakes. So I practiced that on the smaller roads and proceeded with my day. I also changed my gear from the regular D5 to D4/ D3. I went to the bank to ask the teller some questions about my student loan. Left the bank, got in my car and proceeded to go do my laundry. My car was coming out of a slight hill, so I guess, that coupled with the snow was not good. As I was leaving a parking lot, another pick up truck was on the road. I saw the pick up truck and started braking, but my brakes were like au contraire my friend. The pick up truck saw me and was not slowing down at all. My car kept on going and everything felt like slow motion to me. Eventually, the impact occurred. I thought I was going to black out or something but I was still conscious and could see the air bags eject themselves. My car remained in place. I saw his car. The side of his car had some fluid dripping profusely and his headlight was damaged. I smelled smoke in my car and I was reminded of Paul Walker's explosion, so I immediately left the car fearing that it would explode. It didn't. I was so flustered and there were so many passerby's just looking at the ongoing scene. For once, I was really calm. Normally, I would have a panic attack and just freeze. But, I called my pastor ( I was scared to call my uncle for fear of being reprimanded). My youth pastor consoled me. I eventually gathered the moxie to call my uncle. Then I went to the back of my car and kinda just waited it out...hoping...praying. The other person involved in the accident seemed pretty nice, the tow truck people seemed really understanding. I was just praying that my uncle wouldn't get mad. I started thinking how I was a failure and I couldn't do one thing right. I could see the dangerous cycle my thoughts were taking so I just asked God to help me. I did realize that some people numb out and try to forget by doing drugs and alcohol. But, I realized it takes a real person to deal with reality, so that's what I did. My uncle did come and of course he was like " Why did you go to the bank" etc, but then he calmed down and kinda just accepted it. He was probably thinking if I didn't go to the bank, this would not have happened. He told me later on that something was telling him before he got home to tell me not to use the car if I did not have an important reason to use it. I often counter such claims with my hubris attitude so..he didn't. By the time he came home I already left, so that's that.
Eventually the police officer came. Nice lady. I just told her You know I was just trying to get some laundry done not expecting this to happen. She got my driver's ID, my uncle's insurance and we both waited for the police officer's verdict. Meanwhile I'm praying God just give me a Christmas miracle. I don't want any presents but I know this could be really bad for uncle's insurance and such. I tried to believe that there was nothing I could say or do to change anything. I thanked Him for his grace. My uncle did prep me for what the consequences could be. Like this incident could really screw up my driver's record. I was ready to come to terms with that. You know perhaps I deserved it. The police officer comes and she says something along the lines of, " I know you've been driving and working really hard. I understand the snow could have really impacted your driving. Your new and all. So today, I'm just giving you a warning." Praise God, I can still live my Nascar dreams ( just kidding) I also do not have to pay 110 dollars. She did caution me to avoid hills in this weather if possible. So now I am just praying that God would give divine favour over my uncle's insurance and over the other person's car. The police officer lady (haha), also told me to e-mail her if I experience any injuries. I truly think without a doubt that God was protecting me. Like I will post pictures, but the pick up truck was so close to hitting me. So close. I could have died or had severe injuries. But I am thankful to God, I have nothing.
So, what do I get out of all this :
Well, like the title of my post says my senior pastor informed me that for a year I would be going through difficult things. This thought occurred in my car while I was rubbing my hands as result of being anxious and cold waiting for my uncle to come.
Things I don't understand. Like, my mom going to the hospital for fibroids. Or my brother, who was like an anchor to me being in the hospital for an extended period of time. Or my step-sister dying at age 4. I honestly don't understand why. Like just before I left the house I was praying and listening to the Word. Am I in the wrong or?? But through these things I'm trying to cling onto God, trying to trust Him. Trying to be grateful for life. So that's all there is to it.
Thank you uncle for coming.
Why are you saying thank you, Habiba, it's my job to come and help you. I take care of people who are not my family, how more so ones in my house. I take care of those in my house. I'm just grateful that you're okay.
I really appreciate that because often times I feel like a burden to them, me just sucking up resources. But it kinda reminds me of the Father's love for His children. He wants to bless us. He wants to make sure that every need we have is met. I kinda have difficulty coming to terms with that because at times I can have an independent spirit, you know, self-reliant. But, I guess sometimes God puts you in circumstances where you are forced to call for help and humble yourself.
All in all, I'm grateful for my life. And please pray that my uncle has favour with the insurance company.